| Civics 101 |
| You probably think you know about democracy, voting & so on--Well you don't & I'm gettin' ready to tell you how it really is--how the cow ate the cabbage, so to speak. All the issue and party people get lined up early & that accounts for about half the vote. The rest fall into line based on how good they feel the guy is in bed. (You notice I said "feel" & not "think.") After all, this guy's gonna' be in our homes every night for the next four years through the TV & people feel like, at least, they want a good fuck out of the deal. So, if I'm right, & I'm pretty sure I am, the good fuck test brings home the bacon politically & I'm wondering how it will play out--I've got an old sexometer & I'm waving the wand over the pictures of some of these guys we are familiar with& seeing what it says......By the way-- It was 2004 when I did this page & I realize this page is dated, but maybe there's something enduring about it too..... |
| You gotta' keep in mind that whatever happens, the taxpayers are goin' to get screwed & the only small favor we can hope for is that it will be a good fuck. |
| On our left, you will observe a particularly fine specimen of Taxpayer Americanus |
| Its not getting a reading here--I'm sure its on--Does it mean this guy has 0 sex appeal? Hmm. |
| Former President Ford, I believe on the right. Nice looking guy, but sexometer showing a low reading here--about 28. Does that mean good looks but not much fuckability? |
| First President Bush--well at least I know the sexometer is working--getting a fuckability reading at least...Shit..That needle is hitting 72--That old Bush was pretty hot.. |
| JFK here. The needle's jumping some--64--High moderate. They say he was sexy till you actually got fucked by him & realized it wasn't much fun--Saw sex as totally pleasuring him. Big dick though. |
| Reagan--Somewhat attractive face, but no sexual energy going here--needle down to 28. |
| Hey this thing only works for guys. Sorry. They say, when Clinton was Gov. of Arkansas, the staff overheard Hilliary screaming at him once "Goddammit Bill--I need to get fucked more than once a year!!!" |
| Miss Piggy for President? Gee--I don't know about that....On the other hand... |
| A young president preparing the country for first initiative of his administration. |
| Nixon--I don't know---- The sexometer says, "Doesn't recognize format." What does that mean? |
| Hey--Who let you in here! |
| Mildly good looking--Never saw what all the fuss was about though. |
| You senators get out--This is just for the Executive Branch!!! |
| John Edwards--Another pretty face but no real sexual energy there. Reading of 47--Sort of a C-. |
| Oh boy--this machine is going wild--Not good looking to my way of thinking but sexual energy at warp speed. We southerners knew the type from day one & could have told the country "You've got some kind of a fuckin' coming,"but these things are best learned for yourself. |
| Oh Bill...Don't you ever think about anything else!! |
| Get this fucking guy outta here!! |
| Hmm...Didn't know he had a little dick. |
| Cute though...At least I'm getting a reading on the sexometer--Let's see--65--High moderate--Not bad. |
| Shit Bill--You've caused this machine to get some kind of a short in it. Fuck! |
| Kerry--Hmm. This doesn't look too good for him. Fuckability reading way down in the teens. Only other one with that kind of reading was Carter. |
| Well people--this is how it looks from the machine's standpoint. If everything else is pretty equal--the "wanna' good fuck out of it" vote is going to go for Bush and, on that basis, I project Bush the winner!!! |
| I am Patroclus & I approve this message. |
| Al Gore--Never saw this reading before. The machine says, "Subject abducted by alien reptilian life form--Format not recognized.! Shit--better stay away from that. |
| All you agitated queens leave off writing me angry letters--I've succeeded in pissing everyone off & you don't have a clue as to who I'm for--Pretty good I think. And don't blame me anyhow--I just told you what the sexometer said. |
| Young President Implements 2nd Initiative for American People |
| President Initiates Major Program For The People (You Beginning To Get The Idea, I Hope?) |
| Stop the presses!!! Just got a field report from Mass.--field reports always count for more than idle speculation. Has been seen in the restroom & said to be huge & shows clearly, even on TV, through trousers. Thanks for the report. Score upgraded to 50. |
